Children Growing Up, Elderly Dying And Other Things That I Am Not There To See

by being an Immigrant

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

So, Christmas 2021 is gone. Uppeeee. I confess that I was excited, and then on the 23rd, after a video call with my father’s family, while I cried, Christmas felt heavy. As an Immigrant, I am used to missing stuff, but they are priceless. I have been missing children growing up (and all their Birthday parties) and elderly dying (and all their funerals and masses), including my mother’s mother, whom I loved very much and will never see again.

Then I thought, what do I have to show my family to justify my life here? Rationally, I know I don’t need to justify anything. But emotionally, I feel I do. For what, I am choosing the UK over Brazil? And I cannot stop questioning if my life would be better there than here.

I know that because of the pandemic, my feelings are more intense; I haven’t seen my parents in over two years and any other member of my family. And then there is the issue of how happy I am with my life in the UK? After so much struggle, I am not leaving until I get my British passport. And until I make my biggest dream come true.

I am happy with my partner, but it’s one person against my whole family. And then I need to remember that he is my family now. But people still need people, because…