It’s the First Day of April, and I Am A Writer. And April is the month I Will NOT Feel Like a FAILURE

Leopard Lady
3 min readApr 1, 2021
Writing in a journal by Cathryn Lavery via Unsplash

I think it took me a long time to understand that I am actually a writer. And this is not a lie, even if today is Fool’s Day. I am a writer and what does a writer do? A writer writes (ideally) frequently.

I think I never saw myself as a writer because I always felt like a failure. If only I had success, I would then be able to call myself a writer. Now, I have given myself the permission to say what I really am. No matter how many e-books I have sold, no matter how many readers access my blog, and how many followers I have on Medium, I need to write. I need to keep going, I need to keep trying.

I am actually reinventing my writing career. Behind my feeling of failure, it’s the bad habit of giving up. When you fail, you can’t stop trying, you need to keep doing it because this is the only way to not feel like a failure. I consider myself a hard worker. I write a lot and almost every day, but I also have self-limiting beliefs and in the core of my soul I feel I will never be able to make it. I need to change that.

(Mainly because I see people every day that look just like me doing it and doing it BIG. Often I think, what separates me from these people? They probably don’t doubt themselves and just push the bottom PUBLISH.
I need to start believing I can make it happen. Because what I want the most in my life is to make comfortable money from writing. I already support myself with only my writing anyways. I have a full-time job as a content writer for a website. So I know I am doing something right. But I want more.

In 2021, living with only one income is not enough. The two things I want to be able to afford is a better living space, which is pretty pricey in London, UK and travelling. In my dream life, I am travelling to city breaks around Europe every month and spending some time in Brazil and in the USA. But I am not in a rush and I am really respecting this pandemic. So I am trying to use this time to keep chill in my house and see how I can make more money with my writing.

I wrote 2 self-published e-books and 5 e-books with a Brazilian Publishing House, and I know I need to keep going. I have made almost zero money with…

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