I have been with my partner for almost two years now, and I haven’t seen him cry once. During this time, I am sure he has seen me crying at least a hundred times. We met during one of the hardest years of my life, which explains all the crying.
I consider myself a sensitive person, but the pandemic changed something about me. Before, I was much more empathetic to other’s people suffering; now, not so much, I still feel like crying when I watch a sad story on the news, but I don’t let other people suffering affect my state as I used to.
Another thing is that because I suffered so much, I am done with bullshit; if someone is suffering for something that I don’t consider painful enough, I just can’t be bothered, which is not very nice of me as people have different resistance to pain (and life events). But that’s how I feel. And I am being honest.
An example is a friend that was missing her family after spending Christmas with them and having another flight booked to see them in a couple of weeks, while I haven’t seen my parents in two years. I am sorry, but I don’t care if you miss them, you just saw them, and you will see them again soon, so go cry far away from me — this type of thing.
One of the conversations I often have with my partner is when I am going to see him crying for the first time. He says when his family dog dies, or a friend or a family member. He believes that men don’t cry. (Before judging him and saying that he is sexist, human beings are much more complex than that, if it was easy to change certain beliefs, we would all be better people, and we aren’t.)
My father cries all the time, especially when he watches sad news on the TV; I remember that I used to like to watch TV with him to see when he was going to start crying. I haven’t been with him in two years, so I am not sure if he still cries, but he always did. He gets emotional for everything, and I…